This is his most recent selection- A Bursa. Made in Argentina and used by police there. Very lightweight and small without looking ridiculously small so he thinks it would be perfect for me because of the weight and minimal recoil.
But weight and recoil are the least of my issues. Im still working on trying to hold a gun without my hands shaking terribly from terror. I dont think im ready to fire one. But he's insisting I need to take this step soon. And as much as I can tell him he doesnt understand and I need more time, to some degree I know he's right. This is the obvious next step to getting over my past trauma.
I guess I just need to kick myself in the butt and do it.
I have lived through the horror, I am strong enough to take whatever may come next, and I must do what I think I cannot. (Now I just have to figure out how.... strength of will?? great- im a wimp.)
Thanks Ellie (*sarcasm) looks like I have no excuse now. Damn-it.