I know lots of women who have been with their boyfriends for 3-4 years and have just gotten engaged/ are still just dating or living together, so sometimes I feel like I have nothing to complain about- and Im not really complaining, Im happy with how things are going in my own relationship and Im not in a rush to push it anywhere else.
That being said, theres one thing that my boyfriend and I have now argued about twice, and he doesnt understand why its a sore point for me.
His friend from work is getting married.
Now before you say "oh congratulations!, dont be jealous, it'll be you one day" let me give you a few other little details that are rather important.
The bride and groom met in November 2012 and Got engaged in January 2013.... 2.5 months.
They were planning on getting married in September 2013 (10 months).
But have since moved it up to April (5 months!?!?!) (and before you ask- no shes not pregnant).
OK now I cannot be the only person who thinks this is absolutely completely insane! right!?!?!
Besides the insanity- what really bothers me is how my own boyfriend tries to rationalize them needing to get married sooner.
"Oh its because they'll get to save money and see each other more instead of him having to travel 30 minutes to visit her"
WTF!? We've been dating for 15 months. 13 of which was long distance. in which we were spending about $500 once a month to see each other. The last two of which were a shorter long distance (2 hrs as opposed to 10) in which were still spending about $300 a month and still seeing each other only on the weekends.
But NNNOOOO.... of course youre right- they should get married so they can spend time together and save money when they barely know each other. of course.
"Im sure they're going to work out, they really love each other".
Again WTF!? This from the man who is SO cautious about his own life that he still sometimes avoids refering to US in the future tense even though he says he loves me more than any other woman he's ever dated? This from a man who is constantly remarking about how we are still getting to know each other? When it obvious that in the first 2.5 months of our relationship we knew alot more about each other than they possibly could considering we day already spent DAYS on the phone by then!?
Im just frustrated by the fact that he's so completely willing to stand up for his friend no questions asked when he constantly questions us. I know he's worried about us ending up like his parents, I know he's got emotional trauma from their divorce and has seen the horrors of how its affected his siblings. I understand everyone is questioning this couple and he wants to stand up for his friend. I just sometimes wish he stood up for us and for himself as much as as he does for others.
Yes I am jealous to a degree- I want that to be us. But I know it will happen in the time thats right for us. What Im more jealous of is the time they already have together- even now before they're married and living together theyre only a half hour apart- yet my boyfriend trivializes it as if he hasnt also been through the hell of missing someone when youre in a long distance relationship.
I support them completely, I really do. But I can't help but worry about them rushing into something and then ending up unhappy or- well they say the first year of marriage is always the toughest- do you really want to make it that much harder by the fact that you dont truly know the person youve married??