Monday, November 7, 2011

Returning

Petrified...

Thats how I felt on the first trip back to Eastern Market and the house (no longer home to me) where all my things were. A wonderful man, who I was semi dating at the time was letting me stay with him until I found a new place to live, and he accompanied me back to the house to start packing my things.
We had to park a block away because I was too scared to park on the same street where my robbery had occurred. I had to be on the inside, closest to the houses as we walked down the sidewalk, and I clutched desperately to his arm the entire time. My eyes were large, I was trembling and with every little sound I would jerk my head around to find the cause.
I can only imagine what would have happened if any young children had been out playing, running down the street towards me... I probably would have had a full on panic attack.
Its took a couple trips to get some minor stuff before moving, and settle things with the former roommates and landlord. The the day of moving arrived. I was so paranoid that we would be attacked while moving and I would lose everything, and drag the guy I was seeing and both of my parents into my misery as well. I don't think I was of much help that day. I stayed in the house for the most part because I couldn't be outside by myself, the fear was overwhelming.
Unpacking in Arlington was a much smoother event, just being out of the city completely unwound my nerves. I was helpful and we were all in a much better mood.

I got the I told you so from my father... he never wanted me to move into DC, because he was worried something like this would happen. I kept telling him that DC was much safer now and that I would be fine.... here I am now wondering why I must learn things for myself the hard way.
I completely avoided the city for over about a month after that, and sometimes still wish I didn't have to go there. Eventually I did have to face my fears however because my grad school classes are in Dupont. But I still have not managed to make myself go back to any part of Eastern Market by myself since the incident.

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